This is the first time people are really asking for my advice for free- usually I charge five dollars per question.  But for the sake of journalism, I’ll do you a solid.  So in the words of my hero, Kim Possible, “Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me.”

Should I actually apply to college or should I just give up on life?

For all you juniors and underclassmen, you can turn away from this question, and if you think you need to think about college right now at the crippling age of 15…go drink a Capri Sun and eat some animal crackers cause you still got time.  As for the rest of my fellow seniors I understand this is a terrifying topic of interest in the current state of our lives. I too myself have given the alternative “join the circus” route a couple of serious thoughts at one point or another. I’m not saying college is for everyone, but hey at least we don’t really have to be adults yet.  Just wait until we have to start paying taxes. So carry one with the drudge that is the common application and any other process you may have to go through, cause just think, at least we won’t be in this prison- uh I’m mean, educational center next year.

Is it wrong for vegetarians to eat animal crackers?

If anyone actually struggles with this question in their life, I would seriously reevaluate your social choices with the people around you.

Short shorts–yay or nay?

Wear whatever you want, but wear something. Better to be short than naked. And for those of us, myself included, who do not understand fashion or the appeal of smaller clothing, don’t worry, we are the more evolved in the human race to understand that looser and comfier clothing is better.

What do you do when your teacher think you’re stupid?

You’re not stupid, maybe you’re slow, nobody’s perfect (as Hannah Montana would say). However if you truly believe that your teacher believes you to be slower or in any way more, “academically challenged” than others, take it as a blessing. Turn that situation into a positive. Because this means they will give more instruction or even hints on a test for you, maybe even a copy of the notes! The teacher would never do that for the “smart” kid. Besides being seen as the brainiac is boring. Nobody ever got far by being smart. Just look at our next president, Kanye West.

Please send immediate help, how do I kiss someone with my braces?

Don’t bite. Also don’t kiss in the hallways, in front of people’s lockers, or just in the general vicinity of other people, that goes for everyone brace faced or not.

What should you do when you hate your teacher?

Just remind yourself “at least I’m pretty because that’s all that matters.”

Is there such a thing as too many hashtags?

If you have to ask the question then you should stop using social media immediately.

Does doing yoga make me a basic white girl?

Yoga makes you athletic, not basic. Yoga pants however are a different story, one that makes the thought of talking about this subject make me lose brain cells.

What is more important, good looks or a good personality?

Sure we would all love a great looking perfectly shaped human to date with gorgeous features, but the outside features don’t make us beautiful. When you’re old and wrinkly and decaying, all you Physio students know what I’m talking about, would you rather be with the person who had a nice face back in high school or one you can hold a conversation with. Also everyone looks good, you’re all beautiful. But if anything else just be the hygienic person, nobody wants to be with the person who uses “Mother Nature to cleanse their soul” instead of taking an actual shower.

The responses in this column do not reflect the views of The Northgate Sentinel or Northgate High School.